Fighting with husband after baby reddit Um? Lol no. It’s important to do something simple and unrelated once everyone cools down. I’m starting to dislike him and our marriagewe had an AMAZING relationship before our baby, we were the “dream couple” now we cant stand each other. We were taking shifts with baby, but never seeing each other. Most submissions in this sub are not posted by the original author (OOP). After a fight we might take an hour or two of alone time but that’s about it. r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. He would insult me by saying I was trailer trash and my mom (who seriously abused and neglected me and had a hoarding disorder) was who I basically was. I appreciated the effort for sure. When my husband and I fight we usually work it out fairly quickly so there’s not really an opportunity to talk to someone else. I will go sleep on the couch. I feel like I loved him now more than ever. It's his baby. Her husband stayed home for the first four weeks after their second baby, but is now back at his job. And while your husband isn't dealing with the physical stuff, he's probably stressed too. Ever since I had my baby it seems like all my husband and I do is argue and disagree on everything. However now in my last trimester we have had too many fights. But he was watching tv whole day, and was holding the baby after baby sleeping and kept watching tv. Therapy can help. The latest fight had us having silent treatment to each other for about 2 days now. Not knowing what else to do, I decide to call his parents to come over to diffuse the situation. My husband and I don't really fight too much. My partner and I don't fight. So we have our first baby and she's 3,5 months old. Regardless, it does get better. Second, I've been told by folks far wiser than myself that if you fight infront of the kids, you should make up infront of the kids. Big emotional catastrophic things where I feel like all my emotions get ripped out from under me and I'm just completely overwhelmed. For the first 6 months, mom, support-partner, and baby are physically at their worst. My husband keeps using the excuse that since he is the sole provider, and tired at the end of the work day, he shouldn’t have to help with the baby. Nothing much changed after having one baby, but ever since the twins arrived, when my oldest was two, we have been running on fumes and too exhausted for much ‘couple time’. I confronted him. The ex is not 100% responsible for the baby. Like you, I'm respecting his choice but damn it's hard. But he is fighting with me that I somehow have so much more free time to do chores than he does so why dont I. I started to panic and cover my head and begged him to stop. This is coming from a man, but every time I needed space after an argument, it wasn't because I wanted to curl up into a ball, but because I was still angry at the situation/person and I didn't have the capacity for compassion towards then yet and an otherwise small thing could potentially cause me to lose my temper and lash out with harmful words or actions. I have been searching for work, but my spouse does not want to work at just any place to help support us (which makes me feel hurt). For those who hadn’t read it, long story short, my husband kicked me out of the house after his mother had physically slapped my stomach in front of him and I I just feel so guilty because my baby was extremely active after I was trying to calm down in bed (it was like 3am too) and I've probably only had 1-2 hours sleep and now she's been super active again, which normally I'm happy when she's active but it's just felt like a lot and it's making me feel like I've unsettled her. my and my partner had a similar exchange recently. Now our son is a year and we hardly ever truly fight. Yes he would help feeding the baby, and wash bottles. We've recently moved to a new city and have been fighting about money. My relationship with my partner went to shit after our firstborn. After all was said and done, this time he wasn’t remorseful at all and said he didn’t feel bad because I “started the fight”. We get along, accept My girlfriend (F25) and I (M25) have been in a mostly healthy relationship for 8. in that moment she probably did feel like she had been doing everything, cleaning all day etc and just hadn’t thought about things you had been doing. I’m nearly 30 weeks pregnant. i felt incredibly protective of my daughter and my skin crawled whenever anyone held her. "Normal" is subjective. After baby was born things changed. I was still crying, and trying to calm the baby. Do what you need to do to keep yourself healthy & to be the very best mom you need to be. I wanted to start trying for a baby a few months ahead of schedule, so i brought it up, he said he didnt feel ready yet, so we waited a few more months My husband never responded negatively to it at all and was just calm and kind to our son in response. My husband and I don't fight much, but a new baby is so very stressful, our kids have definitely heard raised voices a few times as newborns. Divorce was a threat EVERY single time. But less and less rough. he communicates with his parents when they’ve crossed boundaries and set ground rules with the baby (think please no kissing, wash your hands, put a mask on you’re sick). Every weekend he has a bunch of his usual friends over and they mess up the place. I just feel nothing when it But overall we are happier than ever. You are not the victim here, your husband and children are. So don't be too hard on yourself. This may end up being an important incompatibility depending on how often it's an issue. Recovery can be horrifically brutal, and you don’t know how awful it’ll be until it happens. It is NOT your husband's baby. (either lie or start a fight) speak to the emotions He then threw a drink off the bar at me and I was completely soaked. at the start of my first real relationship at 16 I accidentally made my partner angry (just a simple argument He has every right to divorce you. Imo the difference between a big and small fight is the emotion and energy being used. Please cut yourself some slack. We are dealing with a lot of new things and I'm trying my best to deal with them cause I'm still at home to take care of the baby. Speaking after a certain hour at night is useless 3. My husband and I have been together for 6 years. So that was a whole fight about money for gas and driving around and how I'm too spoiled for my own good. It was really hard. We have 3 kids. The first couple months after my daughter was born were really, really hard on my marriage. Yes, it seems the AH husband has OP right where he wants her- pregnant, jobless and most likely, she will not be able to finish her degree because he will not help with the baby once it is born; after all a baby is mother's work according to this AH. It was just before midnight, I had been up since 5 a. a bear of a man if Swaddling blankets and baby clothes from a garage sale or thrift store (I've seen large boxes go for fifty cents), reusable cloth diapers, breastfeeding or generic-brand baby formula if needed, bottles, a crib, car seat, stroller, maybe a sling for hands-free carrying, and when the baby gets old enough for solid foods, make your own from fresh . People need time to cool down, think about things, etc. But those things are rare. So many changes come along with it. Any housework that gets done is extra because our home is our equal responsibility. Humanity thought drinking and smoking through pregnancy was a-okay. I grew up in a home where we never ever saw my parents fight. It would be more of a fight if our finances were combined, and he'd probably concede. Me and my husband talk about it. If you think this submission doesn't belong on the sub, is incorrectly flaired or have other issues regarding this post, reply Two and a half weeks ago, I received a text message from someone he worked with, informing me that he had been having an affair with a coworker, and that she was pregnant, and due in June. The fact you had to tell him to brush his teeth before bed for months and mother him when you were dating was a good indicator of how the rest of your relationship A loving husband wouldn't be found connected to other women on the internet, & a responsible father wouldn't leave his baby without a word. The twins are now six and life is finally settling down a bit but we are still both pretty burnt out. My husband is an extremely nice and helpful person and I feel like I just get angry at him for no Anyone else start fighting spouse after a baby? My husband mentioned it the other day, "why are we always fighting now?" And now I feel bad. We end up talking (because we have to as we live together and have a kid together, lol) not too many hours after a fight usually, and we don't apologize really; we just kind of move along. I just don’t LOVE being pregnant. We got engaged after a year and married when we were 22. Also it’s good to take a time-out during a fight when things start becoming emotional or heated. For example my fight language is I need to step away from the fight and get my thoughts together and then return to discuss. 5 years and have recently been arguing a lot more lately when we’re both drinking, which leads to ruining a good night out for the both of us. Ask your husband to sit down in and civily discuss what happened. 99% of our fights is about his sister or mom. One of the reasons our divorce is being dragged out is bc he’s fighting that order tooth and nail. After he challenges every single thing that I say throughout this very calm conversation I start to lose it. Prior to the baby our relationship was really, really, really wonderful. My husband listens and respects my concerns. Not that we had issues beforehand but we communicate so much better and have so much more fun and laughter now. he said something about how her sister was on vacation and she got into a fight with her friend, it was complete bullshit but he was out the door. After giving birth I have PPD and PPA and constantly fighting with my husband. I think that’s fair, I’m feeling over it too - but we are due so soon - and after that we will have a little newborn and will need to wait until baby gets the 6 week vaccinations to go to busy places). But when she wants to fight, the fight is on. Trying to take a deep breath and work together can help. We have had issues over the last 2 years. I work 40 hours a week and so does he. My husband is a teacher and they get breaks every 6 weeks. The first few years for us was a lot of fighting, trying to learn how to communicate, etc. She said she struggled a lot when she got married because she would fight with her husband and think they were headed towards divorce because happy couples like her parents don't fight. We have 3 kids (6, 5 and 1). If you're talking about a fight where mud is slung and voices are raised - we don't do that anymore. Fights due to jealousy can tear a relationship apart and may even lead to Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now and collected because I wouldn't dare argue or fight in front of our son, but my husband didn't have that self control which really scares me. Now I’m crying, the baby is crying, and the husband is still yelling. What kind of impact does it have on kids even if the argument doesn’t turn into a Fight. While our baby was so, so planned I don't think either of us realized how important that physical aspect of our relationship was. Is this normal? Anyone Research has shown the vast majority of relationships change after having a baby. Agree. I have heard Oh wow! That was fast. We learned this Once your baby is a toddler, there might be aome manipulative crying, but the majority of the time they are just having big feelings and their body is processing them by crying. This. You don't have to stay if you've fallen out of love & don't feel safe after your partner verbally abused you. He only reacts to my reactions. They have expressed that I’ve eroded our trust. i felt like this really strongly Definitely let your husband take over too, sometimes baby will pick up on your stressed/angry energy, and cry even more. Like the day before the wedding, just before or after the baby is born etc OP. And I've been having a hard time with it. Had a huge fight with my husband AND mom (who's also staying with us for a bit) one day after embryo transfer and it carried on till today. THE SITUATION: We recently moved back to our hometown and in with my family to help them. As for my marriage It's just not always the case. After my parents were divorced, he spent a couple years being a pretty crappy father- but he got things back together eventually. If I don’t say anything, he would just remain silent otherwise because he doesn’t want stress. He may promise things would be different with a baby, but if he cannot care for "his" dog or any of your other shared pets in partnership with you, he ain't ready for a human infant. " My husband (39M) and I (38F) have been fighting a lot lately, married 20 years. People say fighting in front of kids is the worse thing you can do to them (which makes sense) but what part of those fights cause worse effects on I don't even know where to start, but it seems like all the negative traits about my husband have intensified after having our baby. The screaming gets to me more and more these days, especially now that I wake up earlier and earlier to get more work done. Fight on New Years Eve and New Years Day. the second the baby’s born, youre suddenly expected to share them with the world and it’s not an easy adjustment. Or have husband stay I made sure my husband had texted all the close family and my best friend group chat. He would tell me my dad didn’t love me and that’s why he left. Recently, he said he wanted to move out. That stuff isn't funny and it isn't cute. We have a 13 month old baby together now and I am often very upset with him. Im so with you right now. Many marriages end during the 1st year after a baby is born. My older nephew is in daycare from mornings until the afternoon. You have no idea what I did for him. She was fired after she took Daniel out on a late night walk and they got mugged, where my husband was also pretty badly Now we’re married with a 3 months old baby. We always have dinner together and hang out after baby goes to bed 5 nights a week (the other two we have time to ourselves or with friends). I have said many times in those moments that I'm getting angry, I'm getting frustrated, my stance will not change, I didn't mean that thing you thought I meant (that's the BIG one). I can't imagine how traumatizing it must be after 8 years to have him suddenly drop you like that especially right after you just had a baby. In most parenting situations the mom ends up being the default parent. Outside the fights, things have been going well. And husband has 6 weeks of paternity leave, but I don’t think he is supportive enough. And we talked through how it was in my household every time my parents fought. Initally, Sometimes I hear women on this reddit say things like "I watch my husband with our baby and I fall deeper in love with him!" My husband and I used to be like a dream couple, always enjoying each other’s company and almost never fighting. Though we’re in couples therapy, we are still arguing and in recent weeks, my husband has refused to help care for baby overnight after an argument. OP needs RUN, RUN FAST AND RUN FAR from this controlling, unsupportive, non-partner. We'd fight in the car, we'd fight at home, it was draining. I've always wanted 3. I never saw an argument resolved in a healthy way until my husband lovingly coached me through it. I'm just heartbroken because it feels like since the baby, we've been arguing more frequently, and I'm so tired. My husband and I are both young, so had a pretty healthy and vigorous sex life pre-baby. But after 2 my husband doesn't want anymore. I know a few couples where this was the case and the My husband and I started dating when we were 19 and we were so in love. The writer Alix Kates Shulman created a “Marriage Agreement” with her husband when she had children, so that household responsibilities would be distributed fairly Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. I adore my husband, even when he’s being a jerk, he’s my jerk and I love him. You have no idea what we really went through. Then I feel better about him taking over in the morning so I can get some good sleep. And it got old and was frustrating because I missed my favorite meals that were just too much for him to attempt. Sounds like you might need to work out a way for him to get a little space without leaving you feeling trapped or abandoned. Humanity thought that babies didn't feel pain and therefore didn't need anesthesia for surgery. We still fought but it eased up. In my anger, I also lifted our heavy dining table for a split second. Yes, this is absolutely normal! You just had another baby, you have post-partum issues, and you are dealing with challenges with your older child. My husband and I decided right away that being home with the baby is my job, same hours as he is at his job. also, maybe tell your husband that you’ve spent the past almost 10 months caring for your baby alone. A big fight usually has both parties crying or Throwaway account. I wanted to divorce my husband repeatedly during the first few years with our twins. I more than made up for it after that stupid fight. My husband and I always manage to make up after the kids go to bed and we can have a serious sit-down chat about what's going on with us. I’m a stay at home mom and have been unemployed since I got pregnant back in May 2022. 5. For the most part, he is a wonderful, loving man, and we've had problems in our relationship only due to his ex-nanny. He was sweet and funny and romantic. If his family & friends are in touch with him, consider yourself separated. We have been through stressful times before what with co-parenting and the regular parent stressors. Tips to emotionally reconnect with husband after baby? I went from being madly in love before and during pregnancy; to rage and hatred; to now indifference. Ugly and dirty and doesnt stop till they win or they decide it is over. We talk it out and maybe we’re still a little upset but we’re a team. If I make a valid point in a fight that she started, then she immediately goes back to “I’m not fighting with you right now”. I really look up to my dad and consider him one of my role models. Or check it out in the app stores Fighting non-stop and hating my husband after second baby:(( Vent Together for 7 years, two kids - 2yo and 2 month old. My husband and I were together for 7 years prior to having our first. When he was about 4 he started to say he liked daddy but he loved mummy. Figure out what your “fight” language is. Our marriage was in no way perfect before the baby, but things were good. We had a blowout today and both ended up mentioning divorce. children, but you have to factor in that child number 3 also has two parents. Did anyone else have it too? First time mum here and in suspicion of having PPD. Fighting with your husband after your baby arrives is inevitable and you shouldn’t think it’s abnormal to do so. I feel like at least once a month my husband and I have been getting into some pretty serious fights since I found out I was pregnant. It is common for partners to have a difficult time expressing their needs and discuss this with their partner in the period of time after having a baby. I wish my ex partner had opened up to friends who didn’t jump to telling him to leave me. The first time my father hit my mom, I dont think she realized that it set a precedent that it was ok for him to hit her. My husband would take the baby in the morning so that I could sleep and extra hour or so and that helped a lot for my overall mood for the day. She started to complain as she was fighting him for the baby that again, he always gets to see him and continued to try to pry my husband's arms away and grab hold of the baby. His partner is 50% responsible whether she Nothing stresses a marriage like having a baby. I guess it's weird. It’s us verses the problem not us verses each other. I know after my wife found out she was pregnant with our 2nd child, I know I went through a hard time emotionally. He is one of the most important people to me, and was the only one I could turn to last May when I felt like my life was falling apart. The sheer whole body agony, postpartum bleeding, postpartum uterine cramping, trying to learn how to breastfeed which spoiler alert stimulates MORE UTERINE CRAMPING, shit sleep if you can manage more than 3 Husband and I fought so much before I got pregnant. When the baby is colicky, no-one's sleeping, and one or both of you have to work, emotions and stress will It’s important that in a fight it is you and your partner vs the problem rather that you vs your partner. To clarify, this is my first time on Reddit. Best one lately, some creepy customer asked me For example, if the baby is crying while my husband is trying to feed him, my husband will continue to try to feed him, usually getting frustrated (just muttering under his breath) all the while. But we both can admit he was not as good as I was, and made more processed food for us. Three reasons to tell your AP about the baby before your husband: First, the baby is between you and your AP. I suggest you allow your husband a clean divorce without fighting and dragging it They don't like it when voices are raised and they often cry or look afraid. The stress you feel when you're arguing is bad for the baby, yes. Before they had the first baby she loved work and had a good career (and talked about work all the time, complaining sometimes, too) but they always wanted children. Some people do that, some don't. You can’t expect it to always be 50/50 — there will be times when you will most likely do more for your baby and for your husband and vice versa. He’s been an equal partner since day one, which has been the most important part. On top of that, I did the laundry, sterilized the baby stuff, and endured plenty of screaming from our twins. We didn’t want to fight with each other and definitely not around the baby. We sleep in separate rooms so he isn't woken by the baby and can get good sleep. In the same boat except about a third baby. It is always on her terms. After the fact, especially if its a recurring issue, I usually talk to my best friend about it. A small bag with 2-3 days of clothes, toiletries, and essentials. Not as much as before but still way too much. He also threw a big wine bottle but aimed it at a wall. 100% my husband wishes we had stuck to the hotel plan like I wanted. We are both hot tempered and have a healthy share of passionate arguments in the best of times but since the second one was After finding themselves arguing often after having a third baby, Holly and her partner chose couples therapy, which research has shown can lessen relationship distress. It's not an excuse to do it again, but we're all human. When my husband gets home from work, I do tend to explain everything I learned with the do's and don'ts. Did your wife work outside the house before her maternity leave? I think sometimes when people are stuck in the same house (especially in winter with no real outdoor escape) can lead to your partner getting on your nerves. My husband Therapy to establish respectfully communication. That’s my work now, taking care of the child. It’s really solidified our love and marriage. Now at 7 he regularly says “I love you daddy” and asks my husband to do things with him. Last night we had a fight where she was about to go down and sleep on the couch afterwards. Mostly I just remember holding the baby, looking at my husband, trying to figure out how to fit that tiny mouth on my boob, and feeling drunk on hormones. My husband and I joked between us that he had been given a promotion. If your relationship struggled after having a baby can you explain what some of the reasons were . If I was your AP and you told your husband first, I would be mad as fricking hell. If he has convinced himself he has done nothing wrong after cussing at you and then taking the baby away from you in an angry manner My wife and I are new parents and have been together for about 6 years and married for 2. We get into disagreements, we talk things out, and sometimes we get upset. For context, in this latest fight, I had told her that she had hurt me with her harsh Seek out couples counseling if possible. My husband and I also have ONE THING that we fight about, and only a small handful of "real fights" every year. Recently my partner (25NB) and I (23F) had a big fight, primarily about my unhealthy styles of communication. Despite expectations and the blissful appearance on social media, bringing a new little person into your environment is extremely While I don’t think fighting and especially intense fighting should ever be normalized, I posted this bc I wanted to know the reality of what couples were dealing with (good and bad). I had to leave my ex husband for numerous reasons after ten years of this crap. I don’t really even know how it happened but before we were married, he hit me on two occasions. I would take issue with my partner brushing off my desk job as you seem to have done, because the fact is that work sucks and can be brutally draining. I'm worried that we are hurting the baby. So me (26f) and my husband (28m), who I'll call "Jake" for this story, have been together for 5 years and married for 3. My heart truly goes out to you and I hope whatever happens, you and baby stay strong. Personally, I think it's fine to take some space after a big argument. 11 days post partum. working and finished after 5 p. Definitely had to learn that 1. I told her no. I feel empty towards almost everything including my baby (at times) but the opposite happened with my husband. I figure one fight every two years is a pretty good track record. My husband left before his parents got there only minutes later. About 2 hours after birth I got up and my husband held the baby skin to skin while I went to shower. It’s like a love language but for fighting. Help! Am I being unreasonable? We’re fighting often about social distancing, he’s fed up with it - and I’m not sure what to do. If my partner ignored me for more than 24 hours, that would be a deal breaker for me, so my advice would have been to give him complete space for a few hours but then insist on some kind of communication after that. It’s a blessing to be in the minority. But the death threat is Once our baby was sleep trained at four months it was a lot easier to be a better mom and wife to my husband who also split the chores with me. When we had our baby (after 3 months paternity leave), I took a new job that almost doubled my income in a HCOL place but came with a lot more responsibility and stress. A concerned mother was preventing a dad from engaging in play fighting with their kids, and the dad wanted some information and advice about the situation. It's a lot. I threw in the towels and get a divorce and stopped complaining. If you’re like many people with abusive spouses, you’re feeling this way because this is how he likes it. They're more exhausted And it's changed how you feel & view your partner. I have a stepson who was 4 when I came into the picture. If you can do some calming, stress relieving activities for yourself, even 10 minutes 4 times per week, that will also help in the long run. Second trimester also went smoothly as I felt better and got immersed with baby prep. We NEVER used to fight. I read my soon-to-be ex-husband’s post and wanted to give my side of the story and include details that he didn’t provide in his post. I also recommend seeking therapy or counseling for yourself during this difficult time. My husband would pick fights with me. We even talked about it after the fact and I apologized and he understood. You are the cause for this whole mess. Our baby is 9 months old. Giving baby to someone nearby who is calm, may help baby stop crying. fighting with your partner over these issues is the last thing you need. But now she got into a semi serious car accident and they don’t know if the No we don’t do the silent treatment even with the worst arguments. She’s has strong narcissistic tendencies and is extremely selfish. I was fortunate like you and fell so much more in love with mine after having our kids. I am like a child myself at night hugging him for support when everything gets tough for me. we all get into just thinking about ourselves sometimes My husband takes the baby around 6 and then I sleep 6-10am. Having a child in a lot of ways will change the dynamic of your relationship. We have recently started trying for a baby as we both felt like that was the next step in our life together, and 3 weeks ago I got a positive test back. Fighting with your partner after baby is almost a certainty, but there are ways to ease the hate. After a while it makes me question whether I am capable of accomplishing my work task at all if my husband thinks I need to be patronized to about this thing-- that I already knew I had to do AND agreed I would do. And there was some blood on the floor from my husbands finger. But sometimes we can’t control it. Then we had our oldest The baby never slept. First of all thank you and actually no. He picked a fight with you exactly so he’d have an excuse to punish The only thing I can really say is that your partner has to want to change, too. I just realize how much we fight when he's on vacation. I am absolutely nothing like her. Why do you think it’s ok to punish her for 2 days after a fight? What you are doing is not healthy at all and will eventually lead to the break down of your marriage. Unsure if it will get better, but I resent having a baby because I miss my husband If I even once caught my husband laughing at a video of a husband playing a prank on the woman who was suffering to bring his child into this world I would have verbally torn him apart with all the rage pregnancy hormones can bring. fighting with husband, feel like I can't talk to anyone and starting to struggle dangerous. . You wouldn't tell your friend to stay if they'd lost their feelings & sense of safety after their partner had cheated. I also didn't feel well. Sleeping all three in Get granular with your list. I'm now happily married with my first baby on the way. Or check it out in the app stores but only one of you is stepping up and doing it, and you realise that instead of a partner and a baby you have a baby and an overgrown manchild, and it would be easier without the manchild. Since pregnancy, me and my husband have been arguing a lot more. Pregnancy. It's hard on both parents for some of the same and also some different reasons. Yesterday I yelled too and he said "STOP 70 votes, 126 comments. I can and do get that same service for free, and don't see why I should pay for it. You should feel sick to your stomach for attacking a grieving widow months after they posted something. She once tearfully explained to her mom that her and her husband were fighting and she was thinking of divorce. My mom was originally here to help but she got covid and now she is quarantining. I'm just hoping with time it We don’t distance. I strained my body so much and I couldn't seem to control my anger and all the yelling. Sleeping in separate rooms was worth the added sleep I've been with my partner a year I'm 25/ he's 27 we had our biggest fight yet last night. Direct correlation with sleep. We have great communication skills and talk through any fights, so that’s not the problem. We have a 16 month old. I can say let’s talk later, but it doesn’t matter. It was HARD at first, and it took me awhile to get back to normal AKA my old happy self. I can only take about five minutes of it before turning off the pump, taking the baby from my husband, and calming the baby down. It was bad, and I walked on eggshells for years. Like we were inseparable and I thought he was the greatest human on this planet. My dad was abusive, years of watching my dad beat my mum and occasionally us (and all my aunt's beat by their husbands, my mum and aunts except one got out of the relationships by the time I was 6 ), there was rarely any talking fights as my dad was straight to violence. A lot of people resent their husband after having children. m. it’s all about communication. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. I’m concerned because we do that a lot. It isn't so much that you are fighting in front of them and has more to do with how you go about it and repair after it. Discussion and my partner is on the same page but there’s a lot of stuff I’m fighting with myself about I wasn’t expecting. After our son was born (he’s 14 months old now) we now fight a lot and don’t have much time or I know exactly what you mean!! I don't let the baby watch tv during the day, I entertain her, play with her, try and teach her new things, make her go to sleep when she starts yawning etc. Even Michelle Obama said she hated her husband for the first 5 years after having kids lol. They reserved it for when they were alone. My “husband” is at the hospital right now with the “just a friend” he told me “not to worry about”. It's been a Wanna join the club of “still adores spouse and all of their flaws well after the honeymoon phase is over”. I work full time. After a while, we My husband (26M) and I (27F) are expecting our first baby in September. We're both under a lot of pressure lately and haven't been as happy as we normally would be due to a lot of outside stress. After he was born, I almost felt resentful towards him and was more short-tempered. I want him to be happy, but I also do not want to be homeless. You should probably mention the reason he is mad at you in your original post, because it makes a huge difference. His need for space after a fight is no more important than your need for comfort and reassurance. My baby is 4mo and all my husband and I do is fight every single day. Fighting is a waste of my personal energy 2. Is anyone else fighting more during pregnancy? Did that affect the baby? yes this doesn’t have to be the fight of all fights. My gf and I had been fighting thru text almost every other day recently. Huge Fight with My Husband and started making plans to change my life, which I did. If you guys can't safely share the bed, and if there's room, get a separate mattress for either your husband or you and the baby. No baby here yet (7 months, getting close!) But between my severe morning sickness that didn't go away until well into my second trimester & now some pretty debilitating sacroilitis (thanks hormones for loosening up my hip joints to the point they no longer function!), my husband has really had to do a lot for me since I got pregnant. I was worried constantly about our financial situation and the focus/attention being diverted away from child #1. At first when there was no baby involved she didn’t feel comfortable with going to visit my parents ( they live 40 minutes away from us ) so I would go mostly alone and once a month with her. Look up the 10 rules of fighting fair and have both of you read it, post it to the fridge if need be. I ended up with a c-section after laboring for days with my first baby. It was a lot of fighting, him feeling like I’m picking the baby over him, him feeling like I’m not doing enough and me feeling like he isn’t doing anything helpful, is being mean to our baby (he’d call our newborn stupid for not latching, call our firstborn names when he Hello, my husband works from home as a software engineer and we have a 10 week old son. It is what it is; just be frank about it. Chances are, hormones are making things worse, because pre-pregnancy, my partner and I actually have been resolving conflict much better over the past 5 years. Your partner really needs to undergo education and a perspective change before your baby is born. You can and should get childcare now and then so you can both be out without baby. Baby feeds less often, so even without them taking a bottle you can get 3-4 hours to yourself to leave the house alone. My husband insists it is never ever ok to fight in front of the kids and we should keep it all far away from them. Last time my dad showed an extreme anger like this (harming himself, damaging the surroundings etc) was one year ago. Martha (45F) used to baby-sit Daniel when she was 19-21, since his parents were both very busy lawyers. Im their favorite person in the entire world and that’s pretty damn Maybe just explain to your husband that postpartum you will have some hormone changes plus the stress of a new baby, so you don’t want to have any reason to butt heads with his mom as that will only make life as a new father more difficult for him too. ” PeopleImages/E+/Getty Images Me either but I can see it. Do not comment on the original posts. We had a lot of fights, but I still thought of him as my best friend. She then started grabbing at the baby, trying to take him from my husband's arms, and my husband was clinging to the baby because she was being so forceful. You Fighting with your partner after baby is almost a certainty, but there are ways to ease the hate you feel for your spouse. Now we have baby number 2. My partner fights like their mom. My husband's sister, who originally revealed all these details to me, was angry and shocked at her brother, but she also assigns a lot of blame to my sister who she says didn't understand how delicate her brother is and that my sister played "head games" with him, leading him on at first, and then, after it all came out, my sister blamed him Jealousy has a bad connotation for a reason — it can play against a relationship in a major way. It turned into years of abuse, him forcing her to abort what would have been my sibling by choking her to within Not once. A 2021 study from the University of Born showed that, on average, relationship Most research suggests that couples are less happy after they become parents, but there are ways to reorient your relationship after parenthood. I'm using a throwaway because my husband knows my username. Check flair to determine if you want to read this update. Relationships shouldn't be that hard. Omg so rough. I've been in your shoes and I know how excruciatingly difficult it is to have just had a fight with your SO and feel like they're trying to get away from you Everything he says and does, and doesn’t do, fills me with anger and sadness and I’m starting to feel like it’s affecting my relationship with our baby, mainly because I don’t want to do anything with the baby and my husband together, yet I have constant anxiety about something happening to our son when I’m alone with him or take him I'm a SAHM and I practice gentle parenting but I was raised being hit and shouted at and I've been triggered and lost my temper and shouted unnecessarily at times at my daughter over something silly after a hard day with the kids/ life etc and my husband has stepped in and checked me in front of our daughter and he's absolutely right to do so Their partner uses the threat, they hand them the form and say "then get started". My husband was in denial, and didn’t take my thoughts or suggestions seriously. Partner pulls the threat, they say fine, grab the go bag and get a hotel room for a couple days. I became unexpectedly pregnant when the baby was 10 months. And still others prep a "go bag". If you think you fight too much, you fight too much. We were both exhausted. I'm so scared that I've ruined my chances. I ran out after him saying that was unnecessary and he ignored me. If I need him to do more chores, I tell him and he makes an effort to do more. Watching a second video would have gotten him banned from the bedroom. She would like to not get divorced because that would be best for her *and the baby*, not because she cherishes her husband and marriage. So happy that I only had to deal with one baby postpartum too- When I told my husband that I need help and he needs to watch him, he stormed out the house with our son and violently slammed the door. It's normal to disagree, it shouldn't be normal to have screaming matches. View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. I think it was very clear and loud to me how this man would have treated me for the rest of my life. I have my good days with it and my hard ones. 3 hours later, I went back into bed. However there is some weird emotional distance that sprang up in the fight’s wake. And that’s ok, I love being THE ONE for my kids. But what's more important is that you two can make steps to ensure that the fighting and screaming doesn't I understand that having a baby, especially for the first time, can be extra challenging in a relationship, but I feel like the fights I'm having with my husband are becoming Is it normal that I want to kill my spouse after having a baby? Fighting with your partner after baby is almost a certainty, but there are ways to ease the hate. He was sleeping in the guest room. Trying; I’m 7 months pregnant. Now we fight CONSTANTLY, and honestly I just can't do it anymore. Im always the one that has to break the ice after a fight and to be quite honest, I dont know If I can go about like this anymore. If we do, I guess we kinda just walk away and do our own thing for a bit. We fought some while I was pregnant. After initially denying, he finally admitted the truth. And then I said what I shouldn't have said which was "Frankly, you're mainsplaining to me. But post-baby, I primarily took care of the baby, and my husband did all the cooking. I still have the emotional scars, though Not oncehas she. Looking for some feedback if I’m being overly sensitive or valid in my feelings and if anyone else can relate. Also, we had a huge fight over a month ago. We fought again because he wanted me to stop reading some deeper analyses that I received from Reddit about this issue (thank you so much for your support!). These are the consequences of YOUR ACTIONS. My first trimester was extremely tough, and I couldn’t have gotten through it without my patient and helpful husband who gave me endless support. You and your husband got out of hand, and that shit happens. I didn’t know there was a She sees her husband as a situation to be handled, not as a person she made vows to and then broke in the most devastating fashion. And all my husband does when he has her is hold her while watching tv (she's fascinated by it), and not pay attention to her clues and helps her sleep. Please read our sub rules before commenting or your comment may be removed. Now that baby is sleeping better, we can sometimes exercise or shower together. I have been struggling with the pregnancy actually. I went over and picked our son up and told him I don’t feel comfortable with you watching our son while you’re in this mood. I took responsibility for it of course, and we agreed we wanted to try to work past it. rlpqyk devhoaj coxn kdzlydw ddpn fxcv ngth wriasqw pbaytr uco