Reddit fiance wants an open marriage

Reddit fiance wants an open marriage. I thought i would give an update since people dm me to post one when i can. Time passed, and we were able to discuss things calmly. In truth, it didn’t feel the same. Divorce rates for marriage in general have topped out at 46% historically. 4. The idea that you then lose out proportional to what you put in due to a mutual decision for you. ADMIN MOD. Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and not for preaching. This is clearly very important to her, and monogamy is clearly very important to you. Open marriages are a minefield. tealparadise. But its in a different country. We had our first serious discussion about this last week since there was a slight miscommunication initially. Best of luck on whatever happens next. I want to use this separation time to work on myself and us. You opened it and he found someone better. Most couples with one partner wanting an open marriage only try counselling afterwards and jealousy and resentment are a serious issue and the odds of marriage surviving are considerably lower. You can see the depression in his eyes, the guy lied to all of you about him "enjoying" it being open. Time to have some open and honest conversations and do damage control. Jan 31, 2024 · A Wife Is Changing Her Open Marriage Rules After 2 Years, & Reddit Approves Her Husband’s Drastic Reaction. These are three BIG reasons to not marry someone. Opening a monogamous relationship often leads to disaster: a literal FAFO situation. He may be sweet and your best friend but that doesn’t mean he should be your husband. however she wants to get married in a Catholic Church, and I DONT MIND, I really don’t as long as I don’t have to become catholic myself, Usually if you want to get married at the Catholic church, your fiancée needs to have have had her confirmation, moreover, there will be a marriage prep class, and you'll have to promise to raise the TLDR: My fiance and I had an open relationship that was initially exclusive. And don’t expect an answer during the conversation. One of two things will happen. During this time I have had a number of health issues, mostly with my reproductive system that I was told that it would be unlikely to convince. Person who wants to open the relationship just wants sex with someone else. Let me start with my situation. Mar 8, 2024 · If your wife is interested in non-monogamy and you decide to open your relationship and seek other relationships with new partners, speaking with a couples’ counselor is one way to ensure that you and your wife are on the same page. Long story short - I decided I wanted to open our marriage (I'm a woman) after 19 years of marriage. Most women won't sleep with a man they know is married and "Open". 5. If you want an open relationship, that's perfectly fine. Casual flings were fine. It sounds like you have developed some good self-esteem, even if you do not recognise it yet. He most likely has a woman in mind or a crush. She is truly a sweetheart and we both support each other on everything. I went to a hotel room every time I had a partner. My fiance takes my hand as the therapist starts telling me that "we live in a modern world, and that my fiance wants us to have a non-conventional marriage moving forward. •. A clear acknowledgement of the higher likelihood of things not working out. If he wants to have a big wedding, then he needs to do the majority of the work. There’s a lot that plays into this. If not, here is the link to it: My wife and i have a one-sided, open relationship/marriage : Marriage (reddit. But I feel guilty and hypocritical that I want to say no. She’s in control of the relationships she chooses to be in. There's nothing you can do about the fact that he wants an open marriage. Dec 28, 2020 · She asked me a few weeks ago if we wanted to open up our relationship so she could discover her s-xuality with other women, I agreed and told her that if I a Tbh plenty of ENM couples have boundaries about oral when it comes to casual sex. He is the one who wanted to explore, and at first I was devastated, and absolutely refused. Husband asks out girl he’s been wanting This is simple supply and demand. That's all fine, but he does not feel the same about you. And the fact that you are actually questioning whether you are wrong to be uncomfortable with your girlfriend sleeping around says a lot as well. Many even want to close the marriage again because they aren't getting the attention they wanted. Again, casual flings were fine. 6. Keep your last name. We have been married for 12 years, three years we decided to live an open marriage and it has been awesome. We began with swinging and after a fun cuckolding experience where I began a relationship with my bull For back story, my husband(27m) and I (27f) have been together since we were 11 and married for 4 years now. If he can't stand the thought of you having sex with other men, then he needs to commit himself to a monogamous relationship with you. I’m sorry I couldn’t make an update earlier because I needed this thing to unfold before making any updates. I snooped on her phone and saw a message from a guy asking her what made her want to work on opening her marriage ADMIN MOD. Ok-Zucchini-8056. She’s already shown her intent to do that. ”. You need to get your own lawyer to make sure your interests are represented as well. So I talked to her and we agreed that we will visit each other as often as possible because money Of course its tragic to lose a partner and fiance, but it's also tragic to enter into a marriage with someone who would force you to make such a call. In all of these kinds of disagreements ultimately it comes down to the 3 alternatives above. Tldr girlfriend suggested open relationship, i broke it off now she wants to get back together Update (01 Jan 23) (23m) (23f) UPDATE: Girlfriend wanted an open relationship so I broke up with her, now she wants to get back together. And there is no compromise on this one sadly. If you want to try SOMEONE new, you ask for an open marriage. Exactly. Everything was going great. " I smile, I am not sure what the hell that means, through my mind I am thinking she wants to talk how she will not be a slave to her husband, she will not sacrifice her work Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! My [26M] fiance [27F] wants a hall pass before marrying in a month. Because shes manipulating you. 3a. Not sure what to do Looking to talk to someone in an open relationship (m posted, f initiated) [22/m] My gf [19/f] wants to have an open relationship for a while Help. This is where you should end things. If you are, then approach your husband with what you want and what you see the future being. My fiance proposed to me about 8 months ago. Most posts I’ve seen on here where a person wants and asks for an open relationship is for that exact reason. My Fiance wants to make YouTube videos of her cooking and learning new skills. You made it clear you want to sleep with other people. Wish I had a dozen eggs for every post I see going something like, “husband wants to open marriage, wife is reluctant but agrees. However now I found out the my boyfriend is first off, sleeping with way more people than I am. Reddit user says ‘My husband wants to open our marriage’ The OP and her husband were married for 8 years. This started when about a year back my husband wanted to open the relationship since he “never experienced what it was like to date other people”. 13. I told her in no uncertain terms that if she really wants an open relationship then its a sign of us being incompatible because I wont be happy in an open relationship and you wont be happy in a closed one. That's part of why you feel so conflicted. I’d look into marriage counseling if it’s been festering for 5 months. Marriage should have NOTHING to do with a woman giving up her last name. Act like you're reading an article about it or something and ask him what he thinks about open marriage, without asking if he wants to be in one, and judge his reaction. Not every time, but vast majority of the time when you have a monogamous relationship and a partner wants to open the marriage (ENM, poly, etc. You don't just open it on a whim. We wanted to get the pets way before this situation surfaced. The only time only one person should be doing something alone is if it is agreed on or the other person REALLY wants something and will do it themselves to make it happen. Above all, don’t sugar coat it and don’t try to make it something it isn’t. I keep my own bank account because when I buy a gift for him I want him to know I physically worked for that gift. Yes exactly. I am a virgin and so is he, he wanted to save it for marriage and I wasn't fussed so I agreed to saving it. He sounds set on this, his attitude sucks, I wouldn’t trust him now. " I don't know what to do. Just the suggestion of it has sent me spiralling at bit, need advice on how to move forward. Dude decides he didn’t want to support his wife and figured he had a decent excuse cause she wasn’t servicing his dick enough, and says “open marriage. you don’t want to have sex with him very often. We've dated for 5 years and will be married next month. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage Members Online Friend 29F thinks women are lucky if they marry a “hot” man. She will be staying with her friends in flat. For some reason I feel uncomfortable with her doing this. Me (F25)and my fiance (M24) have been in a relationship for 3 years, 4 years coming up in March. We only have two rules: Always use protection. Being forced into an open marriage will end in massive heartbreak, as you are starting to feel. She will stay there with her friends. Hubby initially said it would be like playing with fire, but he agreed. You know you want a monogamous, loving relationship. My husband thinks open relationships are still cheating and that I should end the friendship so I'm not associating with a "cheater. Focus on the present moment. For open marriages they're over 90%. The puppy will be registered on my name, the kitten will be registered on her name, each will have a clear parent. This isn’t a fight, so don’t make it one. What's really funny is that most guys that open the marriage (when the wife consents) are shocked to find out that the wife gets more attention/dates. Open relationships will always fail, Destiny got divorced because he realized he felt like absolute dogshit while his wife ran off and banged other men. And the biggest slap of em all that my boyfriend is now in love with open relationship concept and I really want to back to monogmy. He will need time to process all the information and the emotions this is bound to bring up. So my fiancé and I have been together for a total of 4 years, engaged for 1, and we're in the middle of house hunting to move into after we are married. A place to get personal things off your chest. Reposted because I forgot a TL;DR. [deleted] Husband now wants an open marriage. He wants to wait for marriage to have sex and I do not. Stop planning - he wants a big church wedding, then he can plan it. [update]Husband wants to close the marriage now other men found me attractive. Sep 26, 2022 · A man is planning on leaving his 27-year-old fiancée who "demanded" an open relationship, only to then change her mind when he began sleeping with other women. With a few exceptions, marriage is often the joining of two families. The lack of intimacy or closeness may actually make you feel aroused in the future. Even if he doesn't want to go looking himself (because it's gosh damn exhausting) resentment can easily build up. We've both had our occasional arguements but we Try to listen to him rather then defending yourself. It's not that you aren't enough. You can’t force them to change their relationship dynamic. Please have enough self respect to at least tell him no or even to walk away. Open marriage means a dead marriage. Feb 10, 2021 · Reddit Affair: Wife wants an open marriage. We have a strong relationship and we work on listening to each others wants and needs and over the last 3 years he's really tried pushing for us to open our relationship. You can have another conversation, but if you are not more assertive it will mean nothing. I've destroyed my marriage. lmao a SAHM who wants to get dick while you're out providing for the family. Usually when people discover their values don’t align with their friends—they drop them. Thankfully, I've never gotten pregnant in the duration of my marriage (both my husband and I are adamant on using all kinds of protection with all partners involved, as we want to remain child-free), but I have had the occasional scare and this is how my husband and I have decided we would handle an unexpected pregnancy. Don’t try to “sell” it because chances are good he won’t be successful. Our evening went fine, it was just your normal date. Just be honest about what you want, and he needs to respect your feelings either way. So you need to make up your mind on this one. Basically what it comes down to is that he is a virgin and I am not. Open relationships are difficult. The other option is to breakup. Two years ago, my husband asked me if we could open our marriage (married for 3 years, together for 5), when I said I wasn’t comfortable with that, he said either we open our marriage or get a divorce. If he seems off put by it, drop it all together unless you're ready for your marriage to end. Also, opening a relationship with someone already in mind makes the process twice as difficult and half as likely to succeed. To get away with sleeping with someone else and almost always they already have someone in mind. TLDR: I cheated (was on apps exchanging pictures only. Best of luck OP. The reason you feel betrayed is that you were betrayed. I am 55 female my husband is42. This self entitled modern woman failed and got completely owned when she wanted an open relationship but got dumped instantly by her boyfriend and failed mis If you feel the need to keep your finances separate, that means that the entire marriage, in the back of your mind, there's a voice telling you "this is for when we divorce. I need advice. If she really wants to have an open marriage with you, she needs to take a hundred steps back from this guy, with whom she was already knowingly breaking her boundaries with you. And I don't want to. It's not something you need to try in order to know that you don't want it. When you get married, you are saying you want to share someone's life with them. r/polyamory. Not sure what to do. Deciding to open up your marriage is a major choice — and a scary one. It also sounds like you just want to convince your husband that an open marriage is a good answer so that you don't have to feel guilty anymore. Lack of dates is the number one complaint of married men in open relationships. Also, fertility testing for women is not just one test. The wife thought they shared a healthy relationship and their intimacy life was If he wants an open relationship, then it's open for the both of you, because that's the definition of an open relationship. Some we regret, some we are proud of - and some will haunt us forever. My husband gave us chlamydia from oral while I was pregnant so now if there’s an unprotected oral sex act, we have to be tested and cleared which requires 3 months without any other partners or outside sex while we wait OR condoms only with me and no oral from me which for him is 100% out of the question. DaLoCo6913. I f (24) and husband m (23) of 4 years as the title suggests had an open relationship until now. I recently got an amazing opportunity to serve in a world class financial institution for 2 years and it will do wonders for my career. Concluded as per OOP. You want to open both sides. But if she wants to be tested, there are several different exams that have to happen on certain days of her cycle. I'm [29F] divorcing my husband [28M] for suggesting an open marriage complicated feelings. The one reason that you should never, ever do this is because you feel pressure to. Or at least I did. Meanwhile she gets a boyfriend and screws him in our home in our marriage bed My wife wasn’t supposed to have a boyfriend in the first place. She wants you to take the open marriage bait so she can guiltlessly divorce you about it and get her tinder boys going. Broke up with gf of 6 years because she asked for open relationship. Kind of like AITA tbh. openthrowaway. Marriage to me could simply be a beneficial social contract for all she cares but she is willing to give me the chance to work on myself while she takes some more time away. This person does not want their partner to have sex with anyone else and either sabotages or demands to close the relationship as soon as partner has the opportunity. It was bought with none of his money. She's manipulating you. Especially since this isn't a new problem and it happened before, it's just gonna get worse. When they can't walk, you're going to wipe their ass. If you're not comfortable with an open marriage you can never be happy like this. Relationships. She wants more emotional distance to pursue an actual relationship if she wants one with someone else. Thank you everyone for waiting. You should have set a time to keep the marriage open (x number of months and re-evaluate). . OP doesn't care about advice. A freshly open relationship involves 2 people, just just 1. I didn’t want a divorce, so I agreed to an open marriage. If one of you want to get married and the other does not. You did not agree, she applied pressure for you to begrudgingly give consent. I heard him out, and he listened to my concerns. If he wants a “united” last name ask him if he wants to take your last name. You have had plenty of time to ponder this, allow him the same. This is just the first of many. Hello all, some may have read my post and the request for advice. He's clearly trying to hide things from you. If one of you want to cohabitate and the other does not. My husband [28M] and I [29F] have been together for 9 years, married for 7. Partner says no, shenanigans ensue. Leaving is hard but divorcing in a few years when these problems become unavoidable is even harder. Try couples therapy and start preparing an exit plan. Shut down ALL talk of opening the marriage, and tell her that flirting, or physical intimacy with anyone other than you is cheating and will bring an end to the marriage. But he recently dropped a bomb on me: he wants his parents (who are 75 and 72) to move in with us. Yes, you’re My husband and I are recently navigating a one-sided open marriage. And theyre all the same. Anything else is just opening the door for her to try & manipulate you. What you're describing with John Doe and your wife is just cheating with extra steps. I’d be hurt too. We have been married for 5 years and the last 2 years have been open. I never disrespected her like she did. THEN HAS THE AUDACITY TO GET MAD WHEN SHE FINDS SOMEONE BETTER THAN HIM. And so on. I've been married several years and always believed and trusted my wife. That was the first time we had sex since her proposal and the longest we’d gone without sex with each other. 11. This sub-reddit is intended to caution people of the hazards of seeking to open their marriage or other long term relationship, and to advise users that have been pressured into such. If you don't want an open relationship, that's also fine. ) it tends to go horribly. He’s gonna be fucked so hard when the kids are old enough to know why mom and dad split up. It just took you this long to figure it out. I love her, and I can't imagine seeing her with someone else. My husband is retired military with a 100 percent va disability he also had applied for his social security disability. 8 are male, and only 2 are females except her. Together 10 years, married less than 2. My fiancé 22f wants an open relationship after years together. Hope the best for you, don’t give in on this. You know you want to keep leaving the unhealthy childhood patterns behind - as they no longer fit you. He seems absolutely perfect and we are very much in love. I've heard people "in the lifestyle" say not to open a relationship you can't stand to lose. If he’s down to have an open relationship with his wife, he needs to sit her down and establish boundaries. Say no. Just came here to mention that in fact Destinys relationship ended because it Because most people who post in this subreddit just want validation that they aren't utter twats. In a post shared to the r Keep your name and your identity. A few months ago she admitted that she lied about her sexual history when we first met. If members of one family have such a deeply Update- So I talked to her some more. My (26F) arranged marriage husband (29M) wants me to have an open relationship. He popped the question a few months ago and I was so excited. Considering a one sided open marriage, to save our family. Update1 - 5th February 2024. We're separated, and I want to get back together down the road. You may want an intimate friend to play piano duetts or visit art exhibitions or whatever you are into that your husband isn’t 3b. We have been together 18 years married 14. 1 update -Medium. Its pretty selfish to try and manipulate your partner to agree with you on a totally fucked up situation instead of listening to his thoughts and feelings and letting him decide what he wants to do. You need to negotiate sexual boundaries, emotional boundaries, check in with your partner, communicate, etc. They want their cake and to eat it too. Original - 4th December 2023. Now after 3 months of separation husband is asking for open marriage instead of divorce. TL;DR: My boyfriend seems to want an open relationship and I've found that really hard to deal with. I am 100% monogamous. The guilt and suspicion got to be too much and we decided to separate, OAP went NC a week later. I’m sure he won’t want to therefore he needs to understand why you don’t want to take his. My (27F) boyfriend (28M) wants an open relationship and it's tearing me apart. I feel for you. Start using protection, there’s a high chance he will cheat with all these desires. Well done and congratulations on knowing your boundaries even when it looks as scary as this. I want a German Shepard puppy, and she wants a Turkish Angora kitten. OP, you are not wrong at all. One sided open marriage. She was fully expecting the entirety of reddit to coddle her and tell her that her husband was being immature, when in-fact she's the immature one. Amazing. Most men will sleep with you regardless of your marital status. Instead of worrying about the future, try to focus on enjoying your engagement and building a strong relationship with your fiancé. Take this time to plan fun dates and activities together, and continue to communicate openly and honestly with each other. He secretly began an emotional affair with one of his sexual partners and now claims to be in love with her. Our relationship has never been stronger and we are very happy. No is a complete sentence. com) First of all, I would like to apologize for not replying. Even one female friend's plan is not confirmed. TLDR: husband caught me with same OAP twice, forgave me both times and I still continued. Some of her other college friends will also be coming there. TL;DR: My best friend and her husband now have an open relationship after he has cheated on her repeatedly. I really feel like he is "the one" for me he's amazing in so many ways and I genuinely feel like he feels the same way. Husband wanted an “open relationship” and now wants our relationship to be closed. When we got back home, she initiated intimacy and we had sex. For example, if one of you want kids and the other does not. She wears the hijab and dresses properly, however she is very funny and wants to make jokes in the videos. (Ref: Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel) I 28f have an open relationship with my 29m husband. He's not gonna get it out of his system, that's not how it works. " My fiancé (28M) wants his parents to move in with him and I (27F) after we are married. He will just need to ejaculate into a cup. [deleted] ADMIN MOD. She's trying her damndest to ruin your marriage without being the first person to cross the line. Her friend will arrange a flat for them near the wedding venue. This post is written by someone who ostensibly loves this women and yet even you can't paint her in a very good light. I love her. Surprisingly many people seem to have that issue. . Nothing emotional or physical) and now wife wants an open marriage because she says that she wants to prioritize her sexual needs and exploration, and I don't want that. He's being honest about his thoughts and feelings, and you can be honest about yours. Marriage isn't about being happy. You can only control you. Reply reply. Without a healthy foundation, opening a marriage into non-monogamy can lead to pain and misunderstanding. The no always wins (meaning if one is uncomfortable and says no that stands, no questions, no reason needed). I have social security disability and work part time ( yes ssi knows I work). If you're not okay with an open marriage, this is over imo. " Not really. If he wants to marry you, your bar should be total transparency considering marriage is a merging of your lives, including your finances. It’s much more complicated with women- and therefore more likely to be the cause of any potential issues. The inverse is not true. Instead of the dozen or so guys that she had said, she actually had no idea how many guys she'd Marriage is sacred to you, you do everything for him, won't give up on him blah blah. You lost your husband the second you suggested an open marriage. No kids but several godbabies and neices and nephew. And this is not a rushed decision, out of the hysteria of the situation. When they stop wanting sex, you're going to be ok with that. We decided on having a relatively small wedding which is in two days. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. You're letting him off the hook completely by not having direct conversations with him and getting clear, specific answers. If you don’t like it, or think it’s unethical, you can distance yourself from them. I read your posts and at the same time still talked to a friend and he told me the same thing as people who Recently, she's been talking about sex in her therapy, and she's asked to open up the marriage because she's really unfulfilled sexually. Pre-nups should protect assets prior to marriage, not assets after marriage (which should be 50/50). Currently, he wants a ring that costs about 10% of his annual salary but I'd rather that kind of money be saved up for a house and children down the line. Last night we ordered takeout for dinner and we Q&A. I was very respectful and discrete. This relationship seems to be based around what your fiance needs and wants. She's my best friend. I'd be happy with a diamond alternative and white gold for $1k or less but he wants something I can "show off to my friends. The OOP is u/huntybum posting in r/relationship_advice. He outright refused to cut her out of his life and now wants to be exclusive with her and call off our wedding. This unfortunately speaks to a deep, deep issue with this future relationship. When they get cancer, you're going to nurse them. And the biggest slap in the faces is a lot of these girls are from the same high school we went to. When he first explained that he wanted to wait to have sex (when we first started getting physical), I didn't It was the first VD after my wife’s open marriage proposal. You’re only upset because your boyfriend is out of the picture. ql mu ah tg wm vr eg yj kn np